It is late at night. I should be in bed. But I don’t have work tomorrow. Or the next day. Or the day after that. And next week I’m going on a trip.
This all seems very bizarre. After 45 years, I no longer have a full-time job. Most people ask “How’s retirement?” and I have learned to say “Great.” And I leave it at that.
But there’s more to it.
For 45 years I worked my ass off. Driven, people said. First in journalism, then in running a non-profit. My goals were always big. I bit off way more than I could chew politely because I was hungry. I always felt like I was in a rush. But I got a lot done.
I stepped down from Young Writers Project, a nonprofit I founded, in July. I’ve had a lot of fun goofing off. Great summer. But now fall is creeping in. People are going back to work, back to school. And what am I up to?
I putter. I have rebuilt this website. I’m taking boatloads of photos. I’m festering over a novel I want to work on but I think I’ve chosen the wrong time period.
Mostly I’m wandering around the inside my brain trying to figure out how to adjust, how to find new purpose, how to, as one YWP youth told me, “focus on making yourself happy.”
So this post will be the first of many. I have decided the only way I can figure things out is to write about it. While I sincerely hope that no one reads all this — my aim is to just write for myself — if someone does read it and finds it mildly amusing or helpful, cool.
But here’s my goal: That I readjust my thinking, my life and find purpose in different ways, different places. Yes, it is an exploration. Wish me luck.